electronic impulses from brain to fingers; directed? sometimes. random? always.
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Chinkie for life.
NorCal for life.
Bruin for life.
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Friday, December 21, 2001
Likening a vibrator to a vampire-killing stake. Thanks to Theresa for the initial thought and the creative inspiration. great image too.
Silver Stake
watch as it stabs
right into the heart of this beast of the night
quenching its thirst
for a first
maybe second or third time
sending its soul to a place beyond sublime
watch as it triggers
an explosion
of mind, of matter, of all tangible notion
a degree of intensity that abhors all reason
a truth, an act, that to a skeptic, seems treason
watch as it transforms
the dark beast that seeks to feast on the night
whose spirit feeds on the pleasures of its killer killing all that is that spirit
paining it
whose pain is pleasure, whose pleasure is pain
into a shape without shape, a phase without form, a reality without reality
a calming tumultuous beginning, numbingly surreal end, a blissfully empty infinity.
doobin @ 9:58 AM
[dooby dooby doo]
AIM, what a wonder. Some deem it a mere chlidish activity, or one that is conducive to hermitness and inability to socialize; something that truly has no bearing on the real life, or on the real participants in that "conversation." But how much more is gained by physical communication, verbal communication? Better put, what is lost by verbal communication?
many times the meaning behind certain phrases, words; many times, the point itself. because without seeing the actual words, the mind doesn't easily associate and make connections. it has to channel through certain routes before the hamster gets back to runnin on the wheel. especially if it wants to store those verbal thoughts in the mental vault. reading words, however, is opposite. seeing words spelled out and placed before us prompts us to recognize them with full mental attention, because maybe that's how our mind works. It needs to see the product of this physical act in a visual form. (or at least, I do).
Using my first train of thought, this might be because electrical impulses are quicker in interpreting a visual word versus a sound, a voice. The brain responds faster. Likewise the brain is quicker in turning electrical impules into small movement in the fingers than it is in turning them into motor functions of the mouth, tongue, larynx, diaphragm, etc. It's funny that its generally faster to say something rather than touch something, yet even faster when I formulate and "touch" my words instead of speak them.
Using my second train of thought, this might be because, cognitively, words are just more powerful than the voice. It has such breadth, such range.
can written words convey or establish
a meaning? yes.
a thought? yes.
an emotion? yes. not all emotions because that is a bit tough without seeing someone's face, but some emotions can be shown. aka can words make you laugh?
a tone? yes. caps.
can written words establish a memory?
Well, in chat, we can not only communicate physically with someone (we're typing, thats physical isn't it?), we can also physically store a memory. perhaps this can be the link between humans and machine, where we physically do something that is normally done mentally. [thinking very abstractly] the simple act of turning a mental action into motor action mechanizes our action period. does this then make us machines? [end thinking very abstractly] where the machine becomes an entity that encases the memories and dreams and imaginations and thoughts that normally fly around in our head.
the strength comes in the fact that we can recall such words. simply going to my "Keepers" directory in my documents directory, I can recall a conversation with Jisun on 11/26/01. I can recall a memory of her, and even what I felt like when I was talking to her. "talking." so complex are words that I don't think I even have a full grasp of their sheer power. but I do know that words alone sometimes have more power than anything that can be said in tongue. yes, because of emphasis and tone and the significance of hearing words, speaking can have a great impact. But more so than not, words are more powerful. words hammer the nails of meaning into our heads because we can see their form; we can see the word, its context, its meaning. And the muscle that controls everything about our bodies takes it all in, responds, and gives back faster than it takes to open a mouth and formulate a word. powerful no?
Kim conveyed her perspective well. inspired my ideas no doubt. actually she inspired this whole blog. I originally meant to say that I wish I could've saved my conversation with her on our trip up. yea, one of those deals where I create a memory location for the thought file.
doobin @ 9:42 AM
when I think about the situaiton of my friend, I feel.. frustrated that there isn't much I can do but listen. When a friend is in need of aid, I offer my hand, but here, I don't think my hand is enough. or maybe it is? I don't know is all. I can't say anything that might put his mind at east, but I'm going to be a bro and help him how I can, get him happy-golucky again. an ear, a home, food, anime, mp3s, I'd give everything. [shrug] anything.
how family can be so cruel wonders the fuck out of me. sadly its a twisted fact of life, and ironic and insanely hypocritical is its concept. something that connotatively denotes love and tenderness shouldn't also denote fear, loathing, and utter disrespect for life. and it scares me that that ugly side really exists so close.
friend, take care. You've kept me around for a while, you probably won't lose me. crash here if you want, anytime. we have cha siu bao! and oh look, a joint! for YOU! [haha]
doobin @ 7:42 AM
[dooby dooby doo]
So I've lost some of the words that originally came out, which I prefer automatically over this rehash, but I'll have to sac up and just blutter this stuff out.
......
I had good times this weekend. good? nay, great. it was a good end to this hell of the past couple weeks, let alone the quarter. you know, like good times, but great times? yeah, you got it.
Most of the events over at Dave's this weekend were "blog worthy" in my head, i never got around to it though because I was suddenly rendered incapacited and failed to fulfill that thought. So now I go to uncover that which has been passed over by the future. [in Jean-Luc Picard's tone of "to boldly go where no man has gone before" in Star Trek: TNG].
and I guarantee abstractness.
......
In the car with Dzuy, driving to the Irvs aka Irvine from Little Saigon aka Westminster:
Me: hey, guess what I'm thinking.
Dzuy: what
Me: nothing. fucking nothing
and listening to good ass music. This crazy cd in fact:
Renaissance: Revelation mixed by Nick Warren & Danny Howells.
Check out the first review on the bottom of the page cuz that bitch knows his shit. I want to sound like that.
......
I met with Mary again. and saw more of her than I ever had before. God she smelled good. and at 61.8 grams, she was a handful. two, in fact. wonderful. Thanks to you, my euphoric friend.
The rest of Friday night was a blur. I don't know what happened before bed. just that Mary lulled me to sleep.
......
We decided to go to Phuture at 2AM Saturday.
Being in the room when the decision was being made made me feel uneasy because having people (minus me) discuss what to do together (mius me) reminds me of high school when I craved every bit of inclusiveness in society.
I'm glad I was invited. Great music, great company, great dancing, new experiences; great time.
Insecurity about certain skills has unearthed, but I'm planting them back into ground at a good pace. else I'll feel just flabbergasted.
......
I rolled two of the nicest loaves of bread ever with Mary. I shared them with Dave. adding some of Dan's sugar made the digestion quite a trip. sometimes we saw each other when we got back. otherwise we travelled off again. I noticed that past destinations seemed to erase, drawing a picture of random links breaking on a raveled chain, or frames being exposed on a roll of film. maybe it was the extra sugar.
some nice snapshots from my trips:
3D crossword puzzle creating itself
blue energy in the form of a man turning into a DNA double helix as it twists its "shoulders", and shooting away from the "body" (ala Stargate)
chinese characters embossing in a blue and orange plaid or tiled film pattern, then flying away from me
monkeys swinging on bars inside each of four hexogonal frames, like a video game, perhaps Bubble Bobble.
a ball and stick model of five dimensions. then four dimensions with a ghost fourth.
some nice scenarios:
existence in five dimensions, evolution (position) of thought in terms of time and complexity. leading to
real time vs unreal time (fantasy time)
telepathy chat with personality fonts
quotes:
"I have a helicopter in my head."
"I see blue and grey."
"whoaaww...I just got back from my trip"
"how was it?"
"... gooood...."
"wait wait, what did i just say?"
"uhmmm... something about [blahblah]"
"no no, before that"
"I feel like making a design out of these shoes"
yeah next time I am recording.
......
Sunday woke up at 4ish pm.
dinner of pizza and wings.
fuck, John is good at Starcraft.
T came over and we all went walking around Fountain Valley looking at Christmas lights. Saw Mary before we left too, she helped with the second nice loaf. used sugar again. digestion was a little different this time.
Theresa you looked great (and im sure you still do). enjoy the music
......
Monday, we came home. Pimpstress Kim was a trooper driving the whole way. The trip was uneventful except for us getting lost in Delano. I bet James calling every hour on the second half of the ride madesomeone feel special. Spent the night kickin it with him, then after a bit of drama, he spent the next day and night here.
......
yeah so towards the end of this account it turned mostly into a home movie. sorry for that. the high wearing off probably did it. more thoughts when I end this recollection.
doobin @ 7:29 AM
learn to 'post' so you at least have your posts in some type of memory.
doobin @ 5:33 AM
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